I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
