pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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