We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You smell like stripper and shame
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize