Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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