Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
