why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
