Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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