# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
