literally had 100 drinks last night.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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