so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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