Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
