I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
