I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
