is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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