That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When are your genitals available?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
