hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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