Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found puke in my bra..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
