Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
