i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Found the puke drawer
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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