It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
