Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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