some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
