What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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