I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
