You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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