ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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