so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
