called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
