She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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