walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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