the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
