and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
