dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
