just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize