The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
