You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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