Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
