Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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