i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
