YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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