Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
