I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
