At least make sure they are 18
Why
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
