YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
