Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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