It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
