What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
