My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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