I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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