I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
