How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
